I wasn’t always like this

What’s something most people don’t understand?

“I wasn’t always like this”

The doomscrolling on the phone where I look for validation. Validation of my feelings. Validation of my dreams. Validation of my plans.

The vortex of happy lives on social media sucks me right in and even though I know it just may be a fake projection, I still succumb to believe that it’s true. I remodel myself based on the standards of acceptance. I change my persona and become a version of myself I don’t recognize but hope that people will love. Day in and day out, I seek what will make everyone gaga over me and make me feel that I have achieved something.

Then, at the end of the day, when I stand in front of the mirror, my heart asks if it is even worth it? If changing myself made me happy? Why is pleasing everyone so high on the agenda list?

Hugging myself in a cuddle, I long for a warm bath. I  stare out at the void and say is it what most people don’t understand?

That everyone needs a small dose of love, every day.

That a smile may do wonders and feel on the top of the world.

That small kind word may change someone’s day and make it better.

That a hug can usually resolve inner turmoil.

Be kind.

Be full of gratitude.

Be compassionate.

Thats all this decaying world needs to understand right now.

Let me know what you think of the little piece? I have been away for a year and it feels good to start writing again! You can also reach me on Facebook or Instagram to share your views.