হাজার চুরাশির মা

অনেক দিনের ইচ্ছে থাকা সত্ত্বেও সময়ের এভাবে বইটা পড়া হচ্ছিলো না। গরমের এক পড়ন্ত দুপুরে তুলে নিলাম মহাস্বেতা দেবীর “হাজার চুরাশির মা”। প্রথম পাতা থেকেই হৃদয় বিদীর্ণ করা কষ্টের স্রোতে বাসতাম লাগলাম। হয় তো সদ্য মা হয়েছি বলে আরো কষ্ট পাচ্ছিলাম এক একটা পাতা উল্টাতে।


নক্সালবাদী ছেলে ব্রতীর আকস্মিক মৃত্যু সুজাতাকে এনে দাঁড় করে অনেক প্রশ্নের সামনে । ব্রতীর আসলে কে ছিল – সে কি এমন করেছিল যে এক দিন শুধু “১০৮৪” হয়ে চিহ্নিত হতে হলো। সুজাতা নিজের পরিবারের অমানুষিক ব্যবহার মেনে নিতে পারেনি – নক্সালপন্থী বলেই কি সত্যিই একটা মানুষ খারাপ হয়? যে বাবা পরকীয়াতে জড়িয়ে দিনের পর দিন মায়ের উপর অত্যাচার করে সে কি তাহলে? যে মেয়ে নিজের মা কে ক্রমাগত হেয় করে চলে সে কি তাহলে? শুধু ব্রতী কি ভাবে দোষী হয়? নন্দিনীর থেকে জানতে পারে ব্রতী কতটা আবেগপূর্ণ ছিল। বন্ধুদের সতর্ক করে দিতে নিজের প্রাণ রক্ষা আর করতে না পারা ব্রতী কি শুধুই আদর্শবাদী তা তো নয় ।
গল্পের সূত্রধর সুজাতা বারেবারে খুঁজে ফেরে তার হারিয়ে যাওয়া ছেলের চিহ্ন, যত্ন করে সাজিয়ে রাখতে চাই সেই মধুর স্মৃতিগুলো, হাতড়ে বেড়ায় ব্রতীর কথা, ব্রতীর ফেলে যাওয়া ভালোবাসা। মায়ের কষ্টে যে ব্রতী চেয়েছিলো মানুষের মতন মানুষ হয়ে নিজের পায়ে দাঁড়িয়ে মা কে অন্য জায়গাতে নিয়ে যাবে।
ব্রতী নিজের জীবন প্রদীপ দিয়ে নিজের কাছের সবার জীবন আলোকিত করতে চেয়েছিলো, চেয়েছিলো অন্যায়ের বিরুদ্ধে লড়ে, জন্মভূমিকে রক্ষা করতে কিন্তু অচিরে প্রাণ হারাতে হলো। কাহিনীর মর্মান্তিকতা যেকোনো কারুর মনকে নাড়িয়ে দিয়ে যাবে। ভাবতে বাধহয় করবে যে আজ কি এই মানসিকতা প্রাসঙ্গিক?

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Book Review : Blue Sisters

This was my first book by Coco Mellors and the first 5-star read of 2025. The story follows the narrative of three sisters Avery, Bonnie, and Lucky who get together a year after their fourth sister, Nicky’s death.

Avery binds herself to the “eldest daughter” syndrome and bears the burden of taking care of her sisters and her family. A former heroin addict, now a lawyer is now settled in London with her wife. Bonnie, an ex-boxer flees from a defeat and ends up working as a bouncer. Lucky, the youngest starts modeling early and travels around the world to explore all kinds of drugs to survive the aching pain left by the sudden death of Nicky. Closer to the first death anniversary, the sale of the apartment where all of them grew up, brings all the sisters together. They finally face the hard denial from the grief of losing Nicky over a year, a pain that each of them bore alone.

“A sister is not a friend. Who can explain the urge to take a relationship as primal and complex as a sibling and reduce it to something as replaceable, as banal as a friend?”

Blue sisters, Coco mellors

“It was easy to love someone in the beginnings and endings; it was all the time in between that was so hard.”

Blue sisters, coco mellors

I have seldom read a book where the author has so realistically painted the sibling bond. The jealousy, transparency, the fight to be visible, the sibling rivalry – all of them woven in a story that transpires across timezones yet brings them together when they feel the tuck in their soul. The story made my eyes moist with tears. If you have loved and watched “This is Us” series then this book is for you!

Head to the comment section and let us know if you have read the book. You can also reach me on Facebook or Instagram to share your views.

Cheers to Reading!

All because Babai said so…

Describe a positive thing a family member has done for you.

Indian Middle class and the rhetorical quotations that get thrown around a couple of times a day. I, for one, have over the years, gathered the gems my father – my BABAI as I lovingly call him – has shared for my prosperity and better life. Yes, I admit not all the times when he had said so were happy memories but looking back I do realize his words had a profound impact on me. I have adhered to it till now. So the following are some of his words (mostly in Bengali but I will translate as much as possible.)

Babai said “Result ja hobe tori hobe, golai jhuliye jate ghurte paris serokm koris nijer valo lagbe”.

Babai never motivated to rank first in anything but always encouraged me to give my best shot. He always reminded me to be the best and according to him, success follows hard work. Of course, there was a nudge for working smartly – to be smart enough to make sure that my visibility in any efforts delivered is getting noticed.

Babai said “Rastai sob somoy dekhe gari chalabi. Hoito tui thik kore chalchis kintu hote pare tor ase pase key valo kore chalalo na ar toke dhakka marlo. Sabdhan age tokei hote hobe.”

Quite philosophical to be honest. Often we think if we are honest then everything will just fall in place like a piece of a puzzle. However life hands over lemons most of the time, so hey, we have to be ready to make the lemonade. Even if we are politically correct, it’s more than often that a deranged decision of a close friend or family member may derail our entire journey. It’s better to be safe than sorry, be it on the road or be in personal relationships.

Babai’s influence has been immense on me. His contribution towards making sure I had everything happy under the sun is unparalleled.

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Picture abhi baki he

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

I see myself smiling ear to ear and hearing my child and spouse glee with delight as they play together. I see myself laughing till my tummy hurts and I join in the chaotic world of my family as we grow old together.

AI generated images from Canva

I see myself as content and happy, sitting in front of my large bookshelf with hardbound editions. Hopefully, the bookshelf will have an AI-like mind to read my mood, the weather outside, and the drink in my hand and dole out suggestions on what to read next!

I see myself having a mimosa by the beach, whilst reflecting on the decisions I had taken or probably should have taken, retrospecting about the choices I had made in the past 10 years.

However, 10 years is a long time to while away with dreams, but with the right people around me, I am sure it will just be a matter of seconds. I truly believe in Kismet and hope the universe will conspire to give me my happy ending! Because if it’s not a happy ending then, picture abhi bhi baki he mere dost!

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The art of letting go

Describe something you learned in high school.

High school and teenage both are intertwined in funny ways. There is a sudden feeling that everything will be the way it is, the way we are happy for ever and ever. It is still the time before we get to know how cruel the world can be once we step in adulthood.

However I always had this intuition that this will not last forever (I still blame it on my Sagittarius compulsions). Though I never let it show on my face, I just knew I have to let go of the friendships – the ones we wrote in slam books labelling as best ones; the ones we did pinky promises of never breaking; the bonds we think we’re unbreakable.

I know this sounds so distressing, but another compulsion of Sagittarius is to spill the truth as it is. Yes, I have been able to retain my true friends—those giggly girls who didn’t require much effort—they were just there for me always. They are all just a ping away and listen to my meltdowns without any judgment. Yes, there are silver linings because by letting go, I have been able to make most of it.

High school taught me both – The art of letting go and the art of anchoring down.

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Be Right Back

Describe one positive change you have made in your life.

COVID years put everyone out of their comfort zone and catapulted to unknown territories. The toll it took on my mental health was immense as the boundaries between work and home went missing – at one point, I felt like I was working around the clock. With progress of time, I realised that I am in a rat race which I didn’t even sign up for!

Finally, I sat down one day and decided to choose my own battles. I drew a stern line between work and home. It was not easy. 2 years of COVID has conditioned me into a different person and I was, but only a puppet, dancing to someone else’s tunes. I took up a promise to bring this change in my attitude as well. There has been no turning back since then. I decide who and what rattles me. I decide what’s not worth even arguing. I determine my power setting.

I told my mental peace – I would be right back and went right back in smiling!

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Find your tribe

What’s the most fun way to exercise?

Cycling with friends was my favorite task until work took over and balance went for a toss.

“Find your tribe” is my mantra. The “chaleability” gang as Zakir Khan mentioned in his “Delulu Express” – I do believe any exercise can be fun if you find like-minded, infectious energy level people around you. A friend motivates me to keep up with the “Healthy me, New me” New Year resolutions. Life can send a curveball but you can tackle it with your gang and viola! Have fun alongside

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Ray : the writer

What book could you read over and over again?

It is hard to choose but I would say any book by Satyajit Ray – especially The Adventures of Feluda. Feluda is one of my first childhood reads so I find immense comfort in those stories.

On his trips, I traveled across States with Feluda, solving each mystery like my life was at stake—laughing at Jatayu’s jokes and nodding at meaningful observations made by Topsey. Feluda’s “Magajstaro”, his grey cells at full force was and still is my dopamine hit. I could read his deductions again and again just to relive those thrilling moments and adore the maestro’s amazing intellect.  21 Rajani Sen Road, Ballygunge, Calcutta is my home too. I never felt that the world of Feluda is fictional, I always felt the edge-of-the-seat thrill of his mystery-solving travels. Feluda series is both essentially a mini travelogue along with a nail biting situation.

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Gone with the Storm

If you could be a character from a book or film, who would you be? Why?

Anyone can answer this question for me – It’s always been Scarlett O’ Hara, the head strong stubborn girl (portrayed beautifully by the amazing Vivian Leigh on screen) in the fictional tale – Gone with the wind.

Elizabeth Bennett may run for second, but Scarlett has always been my first choice.In my opinion, Scarlett is one of the strongest female protagonists I have come across so far.Her flaws are so real that I could relate to her joy and sorrow equally. Initially she looked at the world through her rose tinted glasses but soon she realised that one must fight tooth and nail for everything. A world which was and is still, hailed as what belongs to a man, Scarlett outshone her peers in times of struggle. Her painstaking efforts to bring food to the table surpassed her manipulative schemes. Eventually with Rhett’s  patronage and encouragement, sherose above everyone around her but she fel hard to her rosy dreams. To err is to human and that’s why she is my best lady!

Gone with the wind is a story for hope, the buoyant force which keeps our boat sailing even in tumultuous waters; and Scarlett (with help from Rhett) is the perfect captain! That’s what I want to do in my life.

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Oh the sweet teens!

Netflix’s Adolescence is one of the most discussed series at the moment. The new generation has been sucked into the vortex of social media. The validation they seek is only virtual and yet that’s mandatory. Mental health has gained importance as much as physical health. Inspite of sex education in schools, teens  are being led astray with toxic roles and beliefs.

However teens have always been exposed to temptations like this. With time, the temptations have grown stronger and irresistible. Earlier with the advent of video games and then with the advent of mobile phone games, teens found themselves in the soup. The sweet belonging to “no one understands me” is hard to let go.

Most of us try what can be delivered as best – and yet, parents will have some regret, there will always be something which is undone. Yet precaution is what, most parents are advised to undertake. Similarly in schools, teachers do not have enough jurisdiction to track what kind of internet exposure each of them are having.

The vortex may seem tempting. The exposure to gender-relates misinformation is rampant in social media and the unhealthy consumption of such is leading to untoward incidents.

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